Few fans love romance more than I do. There’s nothing better than settling into my chair and following the ups and downs of a couple finding their way to true love.

This enjoyment applies to fans of traditional romance as well as epic fantasy. Peter Jackson’s film adaptation of J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings shows one love story between Aragorn and Arwen. The end of the film features a tender moment when Aragorn gently caresses Arwen’s cheek, looking at her with adoration.

Ah, I love onscreen love—but not when it’s manufactured.

That includes season 2 of the Prime Studios series The Rings of Power (just recently confirmed for a season 3).¹ Critics often faulted this streaming show with constant and often forced relationships or “ships” between characters.

Galadriel and Sauron in an enemies-to-lovers trope?

Isildur paired with Estrid, an original character?

Sauron in a subtle situationship with Celebrimbor?

Elrond and Durin? What is that supposed to be, exactly?

Then there’s Poppy Proudfellow (“female Sam”) shipped with Merimac (“dork boy”).

Queen Míriel shipped with the Captain of the Guard, Elendil? The Rings of Power season 2 missed a great opportunity to show truly Tolkienian romance with its versions of these Númenórean heroes. This could have been a tragic and beautiful story, based on Tolkien’s original Míriel who was forced to marry King Pharazôn.

Sure, there’s love in the air, but it makes no sense.

Besides Sauron and Galadriel, there’s no buildup to the other relationships. Meanwhile, a good romance takes us through the ups and downs while drawing us into the reasons for the romance—the misunderstandings, the tender moments, the surprises. You can’t root for couples who fall in love off-screen. How can we invest in a relationship we never see bloom?

Whenever, say, Captain James T. Kirk fell in love, Star Trek worked to show how this happened. Sure, it happened fast, but the audience understood a few things:

• Kirk was the Alpha Quadrant’s Ladies’ Man—James Bond of the Federation.
• He was an attractive and charming archetype of masculinity that appealed to many species.
• He was a love-’em-and-leave-’em type of man, which suited the episodic nature of Star Trek, focusing on the Enterprise and its captain’s exploits.

Without this kind of buildup in The Rings of Power, the relationships fall flat.

Rings of Power ships were also quickly sunk by basic misunderstandings about how Tolkien used romance in his broader mythos. Tolkien’s LOTR often reflected European folklore, in which any love stories, like Aragorn’s and Arwen’s, had greater purpose. They were not the story’s focus, but helped to anchored the characters.

For example, The Silmarillion portrays the love story of Beren and Lúthien. Beren is a Man and Lúthien is an Elf. They endure many obstacles because of Lúthien‘s father, who opposes his daughter marrying a mortal. To be together, Beren and Lúthien must face many challenges, including Death itself. Lúthien must even decide to give up immortality to become mortal and live her life with Beren.

Tolkien’s story illustrates that true love is more than sweet whispered nothings, but requires sacrifice, courage, and duty. One must be willing to give up one’s very nature and make the ultimate sacrifice. Christians see this as a metaphor for the biblical institution of marriage, in which a husband and wife “become one flesh.”²

Hundreds of Middle-earth years later, Beren’s and Lúthien’s love story echoes in the tale of Aragorn and Arwen. Aragorn the Man loves Arwen the Elf, but he knows his duty is to defeat Sauron—a threat to everything he holds dear. If he must fight and die to keep Arwen safe, he is prepared to do so. Likewise, Arwen chooses to give up her immortality to be with Aragorn. In both tales, the couples demonstrate their love through sacrifice, not just affection.

In Tolkien’s legendarium, as in our reality, true romance is not about feelings but is founded on deep commitment and sacrifice. If more of our stories valued this lasting beauty above all its leaky “ships,” our would be a merrier world.